The Anchor And The Needle

Hadley Mae on vocals

I still set your place at dinner

Though your chair's been empty for a year

I keep your bedroom door half-open

Like you might walk through and reappear

Your graduation gown still hanging

In the closet where you left your dreams

Nineteen winters, that's all you got

Before the darkness tore apart the seams

I tried to be your anchor

When the storm was pulling you away

I reached into the darkness

But my love wasn't enough to make you stay

Now I'm drowning in the silence

Of all the words I'll never get to say

To my baby girl who slipped right through my fingers

Like water, like smoke, like yesterday

Found your diary in the attic

Pages from when you were only ten

"I want to be a teacher, help them learn"

Oh God, I'd give anything to start again

I should have seen the signs were changing

When your bright eyes began to dim

I fought so hard to pull you back to shore

But the undertow was stronger than my swim

I tried to be your anchor

When the storm was pulling you away

I reached into the darkness

But my love wasn't enough to make you stay

Now I'm drowning in the silence

Of all the words I'll never get to say

To my baby girl who slipped right through my fingers

Like water, like smoke, like yesterday

They say a mother's love can move mountains

But I couldn't move the needle from your arm

I held you through the shaking and the screaming

Praying rehab would keep you safe from harm

But addiction is a thief that knows no mercy

It stole your laugh, your light, your precious years

And left me with this photo on the mantel

Of who you were before you disappeared

That day you would have been twenty

I bought a card I'll never get to give

I whisper happy birthday to the stars

And pretend that somewhere you still live

In a world where my love was enough to save you

Where my arms could shield you from the pain

Where nineteen winters turned to twenty summers

And I got to hold my daughter once again

Nineteen winters, that's all you got

Before the poison called your name

Nineteen winters, and a mother's broken heart

That beats but never feels the same